


At the Beach

by SkyFireForever



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Connor's family sucks, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Connor Murphy, Other, Some Mild Angst, Trans Evan Hansen, Trans Male Character, beach, nothing too graphic, yes fluff in DEH fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyFireForever/pseuds/SkyFireForever
Summary: Connor takes Evan and Jared to the beach house their family owns.





	At the Beach

When Connor first invited both him and Jared to come with them and their family to the summer beach house, Evan had been delighted. It wasn’t as if Evan was invited to a lot of things and this was an opportunity to spend time with his best friends! Well, his only friends, really. Connor had also mentioned that Zoe would be there, bringing along her girlfriend, Alana. Connor had assured Evan that the girls would be off doing their own thing, leaving the three of them to hang out without too much interruption. Heidi had made sure that Evan was well prepared, helping him pack his medications, swimsuit, and more bottles of sunscreen than Evan imagined he could possibly use. She made sure that he’d call her as soon as he arrived and that he’d text her if he needed anything before finally letting him loose. Evan had been really excited, but that excitement soon turned to dread once he was actually there. The ride had been peaceful enough, he could sit in the back with Jared and Connor, chatting to the two of them about random things, showing them pictures of trees, and laughing with them. It was rather nice, save for whenever Connor’s parents had something to say, wasting no opportunity to misgender their child. Evan never missed the way Connor winced or the way their eyes narrowed, but Evan said nothing. He convinced himself that he wouldn’t have to talk to Connor’s parents that much, it would be fine.

Once they were actually at the beach house, it was nothing like Evan had expected. It was incredibly nice, but it didn’t feel beachy at all. It just felt big, making Evan feel so small. No one even left the house except to go to the store. It bummed Evan out a little bit. After the second day of not even seeing the ocean, Evan had enough. He walked up to Connor and took their phone from their hands.

“Hey! What the hell?” Connor frowned, quickly sitting up in an attempt to snatch their phone back. 

Evan smiled, seeing the confusion morph into frustration morph into mild annoyance on his friend's face. Evan smiled and shook his head, holding Connor’s phone over his head as if they weren’t much taller than him. “Nope. We’re done with the phone.” he said firmly. “We are at a beach house. I came prepared for the beach.” he smiled. “We are going to the beach.” 

Connor rolled their eyes. “You don’t seriously want to go to the beach, do you?” they asked, though their body went a little stiff. “It’s just miles and miles of sand and water. I never understood what’s so great about it.”

Jared laughed from where he was laying beside Connor. “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.” he had to clasp a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. When he was met with only confused stares from both Connor and Evan, he groaned. “Come on! Star Wars? Are you serious?” 

Connor laughed. “You are such a nerd.” they teased. 

“What?” Jared looked offended. “You have to know that meme!”  
Evan laughed and shook his head. “Okay, nerd, but I’m serious!” he insisted. “We are going to the beach today!” he crossed his arms. When neither Connor nor Jared made any move to get up, he sighed. “You’ll get to see me in a swimsuit.” he joked.

“Sold!” Jared shot up. “I’m in!” he said so quickly that it took Evan by surprise.

Connor laughed. “That’s all it takes?” they asked. 

Jared smirked. “Don’t tell me that you’re not tempted, Murphy.” he shot them a knowing look, their face growing a rather dark shade of red. Evan was just confused as to why his friends were acting so strangely.

“Yeah, fine. I’ll go.” Connor grumbled, reluctantly standing up. “Only so I’m not stuck her with my parents and my sister with her “special friend”.” they made air quotes, using the exact words their parents used to describe Alana, despite Zoe being very open about their relationship. 

Evan grinned. “Yay!” he clapped happily. “I’ll go change and we can all meet downstairs?” he offered, to which the other two agreed.

About fifteen minutes later, Evan skipped down the stairs, holding his towel under his arm. He was dressed in swim trunks with little palm trees all over them, and a special swim binder that his mother bought him just for this occasion. He was a little self-conscious and extremely nervous, but he did his breathing exercises in the mirror before coming down and assured himself that everything would be alright. These were his friends, they wouldn’t judge him. He looked up at his friends and felt his heart skipped a beat. Standing before him was Connor Murphy, dressed in nothing but a pair of red swim trunks. They weren’t even wearing shoes! Evan stood there for what could have been hours, just staring at Connor’s chest.

Connor cleared their throat, a faint blush on their cheeks. “I can...uh, show you the way?” they offered, rubbing the back of their neck. 

Evan nodded, blushing deeply. He looked over at Jared. “Wait, isn’t Jared going to change?” he asked. Jared was standing there in shorts, a Star Wars t-shirt, and socks with sandals. 

Jared shrugged. “I’m swimming in this.” he said simply. “Lead the way, Connor!” 

Connor rolled their eyes, but didn’t question it. They just motioned for the boys to follow them, walking down the sidewalk. They walked for barely five minutes before reaching the sand dunes, which they quickly walked over, completely ignoring the “Please, do not walk on the dunes” sign, despite Evan’s protests. Just over the dunes, there was the ocean, miles and miles of sea for as far as Evan could see. Evan was honestly quite overwhelmed, he had never seen that much water in his life. He had only been in public swimming pools before, nothing like this. It made Evan feel so tiny and he was beginning to regret this.

“Come on!” Jared took Evan’s hand and pulled him towards the water, a grin on his face. Jared very obviously didn’t realize Evan’s discomfort as he pulled him closer and closer to the water, Evan’s breathing growing quicker.

“Stop.” Evan squeaked out. “Stop stop stop stop, Jared, stop!” he shrieked, his voice raising several pitches. He dug his heels into the ground and Jared quickly let go, sending Evan sprawling into the sand. 

“Evan?” Connor rushed towards their friend, kneeling beside him. “Are you alright?” they asked worriedly. Jared stood slightly further away, staring at Evan in what was obviously horror at what he had caused.

“I’m..no, I’m fine!” Evan said hurriedly, seeing Jared’s expression. “I’m fine, really! I just...I just panicked! I’m okay!” he quickly stood up, dusting the sand off of himself. “See?” he looked at Jared, trying to reassure him. 

Jared took a few breaths, looking over Evan. “Are you sure?” he asked in a very small voice. 

Evan nodded quickly. “I’m sure. I’m sure!” he smiled slightly at Jared. “I’ve just...I’ve never been in the ocean before and, well, and the ocean...the ocean is rather...well, it’s rather big and a little bit scary.” he laughed nervously. “I just wasn’t ready to run at it, you know?”

Jared nodded quickly. “Right.” he swallowed. “Sorry.” 

Evan shook his head. “It’s totally cool.” he smiled and gave Jared a thumbs up. “Come on.” he took Jared’s hand, not missing the way his friend’s face turned a horrible red color as he did so. The two of them carefully walked to the water’s edge, the waves small and not nearly as frightening as Evan had first assumed. He smiled at Jared and stepped in slowly, feeling the wet sand between his toes. The water was the perfect temperature, at least to Evan. He smiled and took several more steps in, guiding Jared with him. Jared slowly got some of his usual self back, his obvious nervousness at seemingly upsetting Evan melting away. He grinned and splashed some water at his friend, sticking his tongue out at him. Evan shrieked and laughed before splashing back, hitting Jared right in the glasses.

“Oh, I’ll you get you for that, Hansen.” Jared grinned, splashing Evan with a rather large wave, soaking his hair. Evan shrieked with laughter, splashing Jared right back. It was only after several minutes of this that Evan realized that Connor had not joined them. He looked up and saw that Connor was sitting on the shore, not even close to the water’s edge. Evan frowned and walked onto the sand and up to Connor.

“Hey, are you alright?” he sat beside his friend.

Connor looked up. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” they shrugged. “I’m fine.” they waved him off, looking down at the sand.

Evan frowned. “Alright.” he was silent for a moment. “Want to come in the water with me and Jared?” he offered.

Connor quickly shook their head. “No. I..I, uh...I can’t do that.” their face suddenly turned a very dark shade of red.

Evan tilted his head. “Is there a reason or….” he tried not to press it too hard. Connor turned even more red and mumbled something into their knees. “Sorry, what was that?” Evan asked, unable to hear what they were saying.

Connor took a breath. “Oh, god. You’re going to laugh at me.” they groaned. “I….I can’t swim.” they mumbled.

Jared stared at them from where he had just walked up to them and burst out laughing. “Oh my god, are you serious?” he asked, to which Connor just turned away. “This is too good to be true!” Jared giggled. “This is how bad fanfic starts.”

Evan could see the rising tension in Connor’s body, the way their shoulders rose up, their head bowed down, their body growing more closed off. “Jared, stop.” he said gently, realizing that Jared’s taunts were only serving to lower Connor’s self-esteem. “Hey, it’s okay.” he said softly. “You don’t really need to know how to swim to come wade in the water with us.” he assured. “We’re mostly just splashing around.”

Connor put their head on their knees. “No.” they mumbled. They shook their head. “I don’t want to.” there was a biting tone to their words that made Evan immediately back off. 

Evan simply nodded. “Okay. We’ll be right over there if you change your mind.” he said gently, knowing when his friend needed time alone. He returned to the water with Jared, the two of them splashing around for a bit until they heard two familiar voices were heard.

“Oh great, the boys are here.” Alana looked frustrated, wearing her one piece swimsuit. “The one day we try to come to the beach and they’re here first!” she groaned.

Zoe laughed. “Come on, we don’t need to bother with them.” she assured her girlfriend, taking her hand. “We can just go a little ways away.” she offered, pointing to a patch of sand that no one was using.

Evan spoke without thinking. “Hey, hey!” he waved at the girls. “You can just chill with us! I don’t mind.” he felt his face heat up, but he didn’t retract his offer. “I mean, that is, if you want to. If you don’t, that’s totally chill too! It’s whatever you want.” 

Alana shrugged. “I mean, if you don’t mind…” she looked at Zoe for approval, who nodded. “Yeah, sure.” she set up their beach towel, right beside Connor. The girls started talking, far away enough that Evan couldn’t make out what they were saying. He turned back to Jared, splashing him playfully while carrying on a conversation. Everything was nice for awhile, that was until Evan heard shouting.

“If it bothers you that much, I’ll just fucking leave!” Connor was yelling at Zoe and Alana and Evan felt his heart drop into his stomach. Connor was quickly storming off and Evan scrambled to shore. 

Evan grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself, Jared not too far behind. “What happened?” he asked Zoe, slightly panicked. 

Zoe glared at her sibling’s retreating back. “It’s my brother, who the hell knows? Alana and I were just talking and he freaked out at us.” she crossed her arms.

Alana nodded. “I was just pointing out that the new gender identities and sexualities are a fairly recent trend. I wasn’t trying to be rude.” she frowned. “Am I missing something?”

Evan sighed, understanding immediately. “Connor identifies as nonbinary.” he explained. “They only came out recently and they’re really...sensitive about it.”

Zoe’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit.” she swore. “I completely forgot.” she sighed. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

Evan shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” he found himself saying, even though he didn’t personally think that it was all that okay. “You’re still getting used to it, I know.” he sighed. “I’ll go after Connor.” he quickly followed his friend, Jared following behind.

Connor was locked in their room, something that Evan knew was never good. He knocked on the door. “Connor?” he was panicking. “Connor, please open the door.” he heard no response and started hyperventilating. Oh god, what was happening? Was Connor hurting themself? Were they already dead? Evan’s mind immediately went to the worst possible conclusions. He was rather surprised when the door opened, revealing Connor standing there. “Connor!” he hugged them tightly without thinking. They were startled at first, but hugged back.

“Jesus, Hansen. I saw you like five minutes ago.” Connor murmured.

“Are you okay?” Jared asked before Evan could even get the words out. Evan was very grateful for his friend in that moment. 

Connor sighed, opening the door further to let their friends in. “I’m fine.” they shut the door behind them before sitting on the bed. They didn’t say anything further. 

Evan sighed, sitting beside them. “Hey, I know that being misegendered can suck, alright.” he took their hand.

“It’s not the same.” Connor shook their head. “I can’t...I can’t compare to you.” to Evan’s surprise, they squeezed Evan’s hand tighter in their own. 

Evan shrugged. “They’re not the same thing, but it still hurts.” he said. “Don’t worry, we’ll get there. I’m here to help.” he smiled reassuringly at them.

“I’m here too.” Jared assured, patting Connor’s shoulder. “Always.”

Connor closed their eyes. “Thank you.” they whispered, obviously holding back tears. “That….that means more to me than you will ever know.” they took several deep breaths. They looked at Evan, taking a few breaths before leaning in and claiming his lips with their own. Evan squeaked in surprise and instinctively froze up, not having an idea of how else to respond. Connor quickly backed off. “I shouldn’t….I-I shouldn’t have done that, I…” they quickly stood up, eyes brimming with tears. “I-I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t...I’ll leave, oh god.” they quickly left the room.

Evan was a little in shock, his fingers pressed against his lips. It took several moments for him to come back to himself. “Did they...did they just kiss me?” he asked, dazed, staring at the door.

“Yes.” Jared sounded rather upset about this. “Actually, no. You didn’t kiss back, so it didn’t count.” he said firmly, a grin on his face.

“Huh?” Evan looked at Jared in confusion.

Jared shrugged. “Connor and I had a bet going.” he blushed sheepishly. “To see which one of us could...could make you kiss us.” he admitted. “Not in a kinky way!” he said quickly. “Just...we both really like you.” he admitted, his face red.

Evan could hardly believe the words he was hearing. “You...you both...you both like me?” he repeated, practically glowing.

Jared nodded slowly. “Though, I don’t expect you to like me back, of course. That’s just someth-”

“May I kiss you?” Evan interrupted.

Jared stared at him. “What?

“May I kiss you?” Evan repeated. “May I have permission to kiss you?” Jared stared at him in complete shock before nodding quickly. Evan leaned forward, letting his lips press against Jared’s softly. He closed his eyes, letting himself melt into the kiss. Jared was basically his first real crush. Never in a million years did Evan think that he’d feel the same way. They eventually broke apart, Jared’s face flushed horribly. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Evan mumbled, making Jared grin.

“Does this mean I win?” Jared asked, a beaming smile on his face. “I’m pretty sure that I win.” Evan suddenly remembered Connor. Connor, who had left the room in tears.

“Shit!” Evan stood up. “Connor.” he left the room before quickly walking back in. “That kiss was really nice, by the way and I really really like you.” he blushed. “I mean, I might like Connor too, but we can worry about that later.” he blushed. “Just, we need to find Connor.”

Jared nodded quickly and stood up, following Evan closely, looking for Connor. The two eventually found them in the bathroom, just curled up in a ball, sobbing their eyes out. Evan quickly looked them over and to his relief, there were no new cuts or marks. He pulled Connor close to him, rubbing their back. “Hey, hey.” he whispered soothingly. “I’m here. I’ve got you.” he assured. 

Connor shook their head. “I-I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s okay.” Evan comforted, kissing Connor’s head. “I really like you, okay. A lot. We can figure this all out.” he promised, pressing a kiss to Connor’s hair. “You need to rest.” he knew that there was no sense in talking to Connor when they were like this. “You need to sleep it off.” he helped them up and escorted them to bed. “Rest, baby.” he watched as they laid down and almost immediately drifted off. He sighed to himself and then smiled at Jared. Maybe this would all work out.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahah. I don't know how to end things. I'll probably finish this eventually, but who knows. I'll probably rewrtite the ending entirely when I'm not a horrible and lazy person. Please comment! Even negative comments can help!


End file.
